Friendzone, Uto-uto at Oportunista

Sabi ni Papa Ramon B, “Friend zone is the new basted”. Parang easy way out para wag ka na paasahin, para icrush lahat ng fantasies mo. Parang consolation sa naghihikahos na lablayf mo. Pero ang basted ay basted pa rin. ‘Wag magtago sa likod ng friend zone. “Let’s just be friends?” Ahahahahahha ‘Nyeta niya seventy times over.

Huwag na kasi ipilit ang hindi dapat. Alamin mo ang boundaries at roads ng friendzone para pag inattempt mong kumawala, alam mo paano bumalik. Marami kasing di na bumabalik. Maraming mas gusto na lang na ilublub ang kanilang mga sarili sa self-pity at rejection. Mga ayaw mag-move on. Oi, nahurt.

Eh kung di ka ba naman kasi uto-uto. Kinindatan ka lang bumigay ka na. Sinabihang maganda or gwapo, nag-assume na ng jowa in the making. Tanga lang din noh? Lagi namang uso ang maging tanga pero walang sukatan gaano ka nagpakatanga. Paaasahin ka hanggang wala na silang choice kundi gamitin ang friend zone card. Tama na! Paki-pulot ‘yung nalaglag mong self-esteem at i-unfreeze ‘yung nakabakasyon mong utak. Gapang pamore palabas ng mundo mong punong-puno ng ilusyon.

Tandaan, maraming tao ang oportunista. Ayaw ka nilang harapang bastedin kasi sayang naman ‘yung pagiging galante mo – parang nakajackpot sila sa dami ng freebies kasama na run ‘yung pagiging julalay mo sa kanila. May masters sa pambobola kaya kinikiliti ka nang bonggang-bongga. Epektib! Gamitan lang ang peg. One-sided lablayf! Labas tayo minsan, ipapakilala kita kay karma. Para tubuan ka ng malasakit sa kapwa.

Teka, bakit ang alat naman yata ng araw ko. Left-over pa siguro nung kinain kong salted eggs. O siya, bibili na lang ako ng kamias. ‘Yung sobrang asim para sa sobrang alat kong feelings.

*Para kay Lebrun at Marina.



I Need You to Have Faith In Us


I never liked uncertainties. I am the type of person who knows exactly what she wants in life. And, I like you. So, I had long decided that labels do not matter as long as we’re happy. But, I made that decision for the two us without asking… “Are you happy?”

I wanted to promise you that I am going to stay through ups and downs. That if you decide to love me, I will love you back with the same intensity. But, now, you are giving me reasons not to. I can see the doubts and confusions; all the forced laughs and measured smiles to ward off questions about us. About me.

I hope I know how to describe us so you don’t have to struggle when people ask what to define us. I hope I am strong enough to ask if you’re in for the long run or just a matter of time before you run away. You see, I am used with everyone else fooling me on the first few weeks of being around.

I know it’s hard to trust your heart again. We were both burned and consumed by recklessness before. But, up to what extent do we keep being broken?

I hope I can finally find the words to tell you to please leave if you are not going to take us seriously. Because the more time I spend with you, the more I am falling in love with you. I am not asking you to risk it all. Just a little more faith… to us. To me.

*For a friend.

I Wish Things Have Been Different


I wish things have been different. I wish I knew this is going to happen. I wish I saw the tell-tale signs. And I wish I did something to stop whatever we had become today.

I am scared. I wish I knew I was slowly losing you in the process of working hard to keep you? Was I selfish? But, I still want to be. I want you. Back. I wish it is as easy as to say the words. Not as hard as trying to be alive when there are no longer reasons to be. Sometimes, I understand… until I am again caught up on these bubbles of shame and regret.

Do you love for the moment or a lifetime? Was I just a passing moment? Obviously, not a lifetime to keep.

Was it painful when you left? Did it even hurt for just a tiny, little sting? Was it an easy choice? I wish it wasn’t. I wish you had some moments of hesitation. At least one for each year of us being together. Six times. That’s enough consolation that even at the last moment, I did not totally lose you.

But, behind all these, all the what ifs, all the wishes to make it different; there is nothing I can do when the heart no longer wants what it used to want.

*wrote this on the way from Halong Bay to Hanoi. For a friend.

Twelve Funny and Embarrassing Office Moments

I and my friends have lots of silly moments in and out of the office. Let me tell you twelve out of the thousand episodes!

1. I opened my laptop and forgot that Lip Sync Battle was still being played. Ooppps! Good morning, boss!

2. A friend lives next door to his boss and every time, we “party”, his boss makes it a point to send a message, “party hard, work harder!”

3. I was googling images of funny memes when my boss walked behind me. She saw the horrifying evidence of my laziness.

4. A friend accidentally sent heart emoticons to a group chat. His boss and boss’ bosses were in the group! He apologized yet the worst part was no one sent some hearts back! #seenzoned

5. I was late so when I saw the VP in the parking lot, I back tracked. Wrong move! I almost got hit by a car so from being discreet to being miss obvious!

6. In a meeting, a manager went on happy feet mode! Nothing avoids my laser-magnetic eyes even though he tried to be discreet in removing his shoes under the table. #shoeskoday

7. I had the misfortune of sitting next to a crying colleague who had the misfortune of being at the end of someone’s wrath. She cried throughout the meeting while everyone ignored the ‘elephant in the room’.

8. Another misfortune of sitting in a meeting. This time, it was my friend. Her sniffs were background music echoing from wall to wall. As awkward and embarrassing as it was, tissues were being passed from one end to her end. #tissueskoday #crayola

9. A friend crossed path with her boss on a grocery store. DURING OFFICE HOURS.

10. I made an April 1 Fool’s Day debut by saying I LOVE YOU to a work mate. Everyone thought it wasn’t a joke.

11. I replied ALL to a branch manager’s email named Nguyen where I disapproved to pay a distributor. Turned out, the distributor was in the cc loop. In Vietnam, Nguyen is sooo common that everyone seems to have it on their name!

12. My friend’s boss called him in his office. Before he said anything, he apologized for being late, lazy and passive. So much for apologizing, the boss was just giving cookies. #bawalmagassume

All gifs are not mine. Credits to the owners.